


We are the Fallen (The Next Will Rise)

by halocentury



Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Arguments, Bathing/Washing, Blizzards & Snowstorms, Canon-Typical Violence, First Order Politics (Star Wars), Holiday Fic Exchange, Hurt/Comfort, Hypothermia, Interrogation, Kylux Secret Santa 2019, M/M, Medical Support, New Republic, POV Ben Solo, Pining, Politics, Prisoner of War, Serious Injuries, Volunteer Work, battles, jedi mission, world building
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-22
Updated: 2019-12-21
Packaged: 2021-02-26 00:56:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 11,881
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21894760
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/halocentury/pseuds/halocentury
Summary: It was meant to be a New Republic mission to a neutral planet, attacked without provocation. Jedi Master Luke brought several of his padawans to aid in treatment of the wounded.If only it was so simple.It wasn't only towels and linens he found in the clinic's shed.Inside was a man.What followed were secrets no one was ready to hear out loud.
Relationships: Armitage Hux/Ben Solo, Armitage Hux/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 10
Kudos: 31
Collections: Kylux Fanworks Secret Santa 2019





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Merry Ficmas everyone! This is my submission for the Kylux Secret Santa. I had this idea shortly after receiving my prompts but the process of writing it happened in the last two weeks. I hope that you enjoy it. 
> 
> It's a story of meet cute, get reunited with the ugly. Young crushes to enemies to unwanted pining.
> 
> Though it isn't stated in the fic, Ben's age in the first chapter is fifteen.

When his uncle told him he was joining him and the older padawans on an aid mission to a planet after two of its villages were attacked, what he anticipated was something quite different from what they found.

The Jedi texts weren’t written as a narrative of such previous missions. He knew that the Jedi did provide aid to planets when they were in need, whatever the cause may be. They had come to provide military defence services to planets as well as assisted in the aftermath, acting as healers to improve their skills as well as working alongside on-planet medical units. Acted as diplomats to prevent any bloodshed from happening in the first place. Helped to rebuild.

The attack on the planet was short but its impact was felt immediately. Whoever the attackers were, they didn’t target the Urban Centre, built within the valleys of the mountain range that loomed further north in the direction they flew. The treacherous passes, steep inclines and sharp peaks made it a challenge for non-inhabitants to make it through without locals serving as guides. The only way into the Centre were the network of caves and tunnels that went under the mountains. 

Only the locals knew the intricacies. Some tunnels lead to dead ends. Others wound in any direction but the Centre. To guarantee a safe route in, one needed a local guide. 

From a tactical point of view, attacking the southern villages made sense; out of all the villages they were the closest to the Centre. There were two possibilities as to the decision. Make the threat of attack known and the Centre would release their military strength to defend. Or capture several of the locals to be their unwilling guides through the mountains.

What the invaders didn’t know was just how deadly the village-folk were. 

As a precaution two small units of soldiers accompanied the medical unit to the planet, one for each village. Ben accompanied his uncle along with the second eldest padawan. The oldest padawan was going to the other village with the other two. 

Taking in the view, standing as close to the transparisteel without being in the way of anyone, Ben watched their approach, the village actually pretty extensive upon closer inspection. The field that swept from south to east of the village had been cultivated for growing crops, plantation that he didn’t recognise. He didn’t have as good a view to the north or west but based on what he was seeing it would probably be very similar. 

There were indentations in the long grass, no doubt trodden down by warfare and fallen bodies. A few patches that were dark, probably red-brown from drying out in the sun. 

Yet there were no indications of the dead left behind. 

Luke was speaking to the leader of the unit. Ben hesitated at first before approaching, getting his uncle’s attention with a silent small nudge of the Force. 

Luke glanced to him, a hint of amusement on his face. “Yes Ben?”

Ben hesitated for a second, before taking a half-step back so he could look better to both of them. “Do we know anything about the customs on this planet, or more specifically to the village we’ll be landing at?” 

“Nothing that we were told of in advance, as far as introductions and treating our hosts,” the unit leader responded with a quick shake of her head. She wore no tag on her shirt but Ben had heard her being addressed as Perella. “Onabast never did ally themselves with the New Republic but they didn’t declare themselves ally of the Empire either. Their pastoral lifestyle has always been useful in keeping them a neutral nation, since the times of the Old Republic.”

“Do you have any records of what they do with their…” Ben searched for the best way to phrase his question without being abhorrent, but not coming up with any alternative, blurted it out. “Dead? Off-planet, enemies – or even their own people?” They both gave him pressing looks. Mentally squirming, but keeping his spine straight, Ben shrugged, gave a crooked frown. “I can see indication of the fighting, but I didn’t see any bodies from the viewport.”

“Ah Kriff.” Perella muttered none too quietly. “If they killed everyone who came down to their village we won’t have a chance to figure out who they are. We need some visual clues to narrow down where they came from. We need to see the clothes, any other distinguishing features-”

First the ship had to land. Perella gathered her unit, plus the two medical officers accompanying them, to greet the two women who were already out, standing back from where their ship was descending.

Ben didn’t stick around to listen. Luke was already taking him aside with the other padawan on their ship, a male Twi’lek by the name of Pars. 

“I shouldn’t stay long away from Commander Perella, I would like to know more about the village and the nature of the attack. The medical officers will shortly be directed to the lodgings where the village’s healers work from,” Luke explained, addressing both of them. Ben had already heard most of this, having not been too far out of earshot from him while he and Perella were talking. “Depending on how many were injured they may be using more buildings than usual. Go ahead, find out what you can do to help out.”

Pars waited until Luke walked away before sighing, casting his glance to him. “Let’s hope we’re not on clean-up duty.”

“I can’t imagine they’ll let us get hands on with any patients,” Ben agreed, walking further away from the command ship, towards the outer-most lodgings of the village. There was a brisk wind, tugging and pushing at their robes, a threat of a storm in the air, already damp. He supposed he shouldn’t be surprised that the buildings were predominantly built out of rock, only the doors and window frames made from wood. “And if they do let us, it won’t be to hone our Force healing skills. It will be with bandages and splints and who knows what else.”

Pars shrugged, taking a broader step sideways to avoid a rickety open wagon that someone stopped pushing at the last minutes. “Not that those skills aren’t valuable. It wouldn’t hurt to re-train ourselves.”

They didn’t talk much on their way into the village. There were no marked paths to show the way and buildings didn’t have much in the way of distinguishing characteristics. They probably didn’t receive many travellers without prior information. The mountains definitely didn’t look too hopeful to have any stable spaceports for ships to land directly in the Urban Centre. If there was a communication system, it probably involved the Urban Centre contacting the villages when they received first word of access to the planet by wayfarers, be it merchants, politicians or anyone else. The villagers would then be prepared for the arrivals and provide a guide through the village, or further north to the mountains. 

The village was bigger than Ben expected, that he had known by watching from the viewport, but the deeper they made their way in, the buildings were built more closely together and actual alleys and paths were created, by wagons and carts, foot traffic of the residents and draught animals. 

They also got more looks by the locals, who more or less all looked the same, relatively light skinned with ashen tones. Wearing clothing that they weren’t concerned about getting worn or dirty, but still of good quality that none were held together by fraying threads. Not too unlike them, he thought with a tentative smile when one stared longer at him then necessary. 

That woman leaned towards someone else, clearly a companion, whispering without looking away from Ben.

Taking his chance, Ben stepped a bit towards them, ignoring Pars urgent whisper to stop, stepping once more to avoid Pars’ fingers hooking into his cloak.

“Would you be able to help us? We’re trying to find your… medical building?” The two women looked at Ben, before back to one another, no longer whispering and shaking their head in agreement of something, clearly puzzled. “Healer?” Ben asked, before pursing his lips, cheeks puffing out. “Ah… Shaman? Doctor? Pars, am I forgetting anything?”

Pars sighed from behind him before coming up to his left. Ben watched him from the corner of his eye, Pars bringing his hand up to his chest, covering his heart. “Healer? Helps the sick or injured?”

The women casted them one more look, rolling their eyes with amusement before continuing to their destination. 

“We could be looking for hours,” Ben grumbled before walking again, dragging his feet. 

“I think we do have one more option,” Pars commented, sounding more cheery than Ben expected.

“What’s that?” Ben glanced to him, a little suspicious when Pars grinned. 

“Something that would make Master Luke very impressed. Maybe even what he wanted us to do in the first place.”

“Oh, so he was teaching us a lesson in navigating without a map?” That was doubtful but Ben didn’t think about that too long. It wouldn’t be that uncommon for this to be part of his teachings, since aiding the villages’ healers was considered to be hands on training. “What are you suggesting?”

“Opening our senses,” Pars replied, spreading his arms sideways, elbows bent. Ben didn’t flinch despite the near hit to his stomach. “Reaching out, feeling the hurt, the fear, of people who are in need of treatment of their wounds. Finding that, we follow, to find where the pain and fear is strongest. Then we should be in the right area, we can start knocking on doors or find the first person who looks like a healer.”

Ben hated how much sense that made, almost pouting again. “Alright smart stuff, lead the way.” 

“And let me take all the glory when I’m right? You would never like that. Pull your own Ben.” It would’ve sounded mocking from anyone else but Ben knew that Pars was only encouraging him. Pressing his hand to his shoulder Pars steered him out of the way from a lumbering animal dragging a cart behind it, a man behind the cart steadying the load. 

As Pars recommended, using the Force to find their way helped more quickly than asking around. It took a few turns when they went too far, and once stepped into the wrong alley, but they made good time. There were a few buildings where they had stopped, and based on the people milling about each of them all were likely being used for the wounded, carrying basic medical supplies in and out of the buildings.

Which one they would find the chief healer in would be more guesswork. 

“My thought is the biggest building would be where the healer works out of,” Ben commented, already making his way towards the door that someone had just stepped out of, rushing off with bloody clothing in their arms. 

“That’s what I expect.” Pars nodded when Ben lifted his hand, knocking on the door, but considering they could hear voices and general commotion from the other side the chances of them being heard were unlikely. “It wouldn’t hurt to just go in. They can always tell us to leave if we are in their way.”

“But I don’t want to be in their way.” He almost knocked again but Ben decided to open it anyways; the door wasn’t locked and pushed open readily. There were several cots immediately inside, on the wall opposite of the door, all occupied. Ben held his ground despite the patients staring at him and Pars in turn. “Can we speak to your healer?”

Blank looks greeted their requests. 

“I think we should’ve waited with Master Luke. Those women who met with them, they must’ve known Basic,” Pars commented, although his eyebrows furrowed together, glancing around, taking in the activity. All beds were in use and at least six people looked like they worked here, tending to the patients. “But there should be someone here. I’m just saying this from my own experience, there’s normally at least one person who speaks Basic in specific fields, in a monarchy or government, police or military enforcement, and… health care.”

“I suppose we should start asking then.” Ben spotted the first non-patient in the room, carrying medical supplies in a large double-handed kit. He had to take a half-step back when she walked straight at them, no intention of stopping. “Sorry to bother you, we are trying to find the healer who works here.” 

She didn’t say anything, but with a jerk of her shoulder, gestured in the opposite direction. Neither he or Pars saw the closed off room, a door that led into a smaller section. It could’ve been an office for the little they knew but Ben turned back quickly to utter a thank you, Pars bowing his head slightly. One or both would be taken as thanks.

Ben had his hand on the knob when Pars reached for his shoulder, stopping him gently. 

Pars tapped on a second handle on the door, hearing and seeing a second piece of wood jostle. There was a panel built into the door, that when Pars pushed up on the handle, revealed a window underneath. 

Even though Pars was a year older than him Ben did have a couple of inches on him. Both peered in the window, realising the room was a surgical room, and three healers were working together to perform a procedure on the patient in question.

“I wonder how long they might be,” Ben murmured once they closed the window, shuffling to the side, out of range of the door when it might open. 

All things considered it wasn’t a long wait, less than an hour until all three healers exited, motioning for one of their assistants to enter. Between the assistant and two of the healers a conversation started, including gestures towards him and Pars, fortunately none of which came across as rude. They didn’t talk long, the healers discarding their gloves and cleaning hands at a two-compartment basin, scrubbing up to their elbows.

The assistant went inside, helping the patient out. 

One of the healers approached them after cleaning their hands, pulling off the mask first. “I wasn’t sure when our… allies would be coming to help us,” they greeted, looking them up and down. 

“Our Master is speaking to your – representatives. The women who greeted our ship,” Ben started.

“New Republic ships, it is the way of the Jedi to help anyone in need,” Pars interjected, smiling kindly. “After the travesty that happened here, we have come to provide… whatever it is you need us to help with. We have our own abilities to heal, but we take direction very well. If you even need us to clean, help patients with mobility-” 

Once again Ben tried not to balk. Not all of it sounded bad but he didn’t want to be cleaning up bodily fluids. “My name is Ben, this is Pars. We know you are understaffed for the number of injured. Anything you need us to do, let us know.”

Reserved as they were the healer couldn’t hold back a short laugh. “Indeed we are running a larger ship than we usually do. This is normally the only building we operate from. I’m sure you noticed we were performing surgery when you arrived. We keep six beds in here at most, we don’t typically treat more than five people in our standard lunar cycle. But… what happened truly was unexpected. The two other buildings in this block are being used by stable patients, no longer critical, post-surgery, but still needing care. We’ve had to rely on any extra cots or sleeping pads that the residents here were free to contribute at the time. A lot do need help with mobility, some need help with eating. Cleaning is tended to whenever we can but extra hands are needed in this trying time.”

“Is there someone who will be able to answer any questions we have, if we need clarification on anything?” Pars asked, once he took his attention off of another assistant who entered the building, bringing in clean linens and towels.

“If you head to the building that was over there-“ They stopped to indicate as though there wasn’t a wall between them and the building in question, but Pars and Ben remembered the building they passed by to enter the block. “Ask for Ileska. She’ll be your supervisor during your stay. She’ll probably get directions from the other healers, myself included, if you are asked to do additional or different tasks. My name is Nanse.” 

“Nice to meet you.” Ben bit back a grin at getting the words out before Pars, but bowed his head in a controlled gesture of respect. “We will do all that we can do to help the patients and also help in maintaining the order in your clinic.”

“Thank you, we will greatly appreciate it. Now I know Ileska already has her hands full, if you can find her she will have you busy in no time,” Nanse directed, smiling back to them.

Once outside a blast of wind caught them off guard. Pulling their robes tighter to protect against the deepening chill they hastened across to the building they should find Ileska in. “If all the cleaning we have to do is laundering, that wouldn’t be too bad,” Pars commented.

Ben mumbled his uncertainty, shuddering at possibilities. “As long as I don’t have to scoop or get hands on. Mopping would be manageable. We might need to flip for laundering duties. That would be my preference too.”

“I have seniority, I should do laundering.”

“I’m taller than you!”

They stopped their bickering when they reached the door, having to try a few times to open the heavy door against the wind. Luckily when they were inside warmth brought feeling back into their bare hands. 

There were definitely more cots, sleeping pads and bedrolls scattered in this building, just as long as the previous building they were in. What the building was normally used for Pars and Ben didn’t try to guess, more concerned on not accidentally bumping into anyone. They carefully stepped past sleeping patients, sleeping surfaces where a couple of people were seated, chatting in a language that Ben certainly didn’t recognise. The only person who paid them attention was an assistant who was helping a patient to eat. 

Only one person dressed in the same colours of the assistants stood alone, at a section that could only be described as a minimally-designed kitchen. There were two sections of cabinets, one above the counter and the other immediately underneath. A full cooking centre was positioned on one side of a two-sectioned sink, a conservator on the other side of the sink. There were two chairs in the immediate area but no table. 

When they were close enough Pars spoke up. “Excuse me, are you Ileska?”

She looked up, blonde braid swaying to the side as she stopped cleaning. Narrowed her eyes on them. “Who are you?”

“We are the Pada- Jedi, who have come to assist Nanse, yourself and the clinic. Nanse directed us to you,” Pars explained, then gestured to himself. “I am Pars, this is Ben.”

“Good, we need all the help we can get. Normally one or two of us are assigned to chore work but now we’re just behind on everything, since patients are our priority.” She eyed Pars first, Ben only briefly, before smirking, pushing the cloth she held into Pars’ hand. “These need to be cleaned before the water goes cold. Nanse has another surgery to do before the end of the day – in less than an hour. Get these washed and dried and carry them back to the clinic in the basket.” She tapped a container just in front of the cooking unit with her foot, which in all appearances resembled a portable cooler. “Ben, we’re going to need more supplies from our shed. That’s towels, six hand towels, one full-sized and two cloths. Take them into the clinic, they’ll need them before surgery.”

Pars nodded to her, already stepping towards the sink. She had started towards the closest bed, but stopped, turning to face Ben. 

“I almost forgot.” From around her neck she lifts a string necklace, or at least that’s what Ben thought it was until he saw the key dangling from it. “We keep the shed locked as a precaution. Don’t need to lose any of our supplies. The shed is the small building to the right of the clinic, the one between our building and the clinic.”

Taking the key from her Ben nodded. “Six hand towels, two cloths and one full-sized towel,” he repeated back to her.

Ileka smiled. “That’s great, they’ll need to scrub up before the next surgery.”

Bracing himself for the cold he stepped outside. The wind buffeted him immediately and he had to stumble to keep to his feet, not tripping back against the door. Once he steadied himself he ran to the shed, hoping that he wouldn’t have to struggle with another door.

The lock slid in and the door opened on noisy hinges. The clinic and the secondary building had electrical, light provided, but there was no switch for the shed. Once the door slammed shut behind him he was in complete darkness, no window to provide any light. 

Perhaps his uncle would be impressed by his ingenuity. It wasn’t a direct lesson that he had taught them, but a small hope that burned inside. He wasn’t searching for answers but he did need to search for towels but maybe, just perhaps...

It could’ve been that his eyes adjusted to the dark, or something shifted from inside or around him, but the shelves that he only had a brief glimpse of before the door shut came into better focus. He saw linens to his immediate right, on the second highest shelf. Moving closer, he could make out several piles of towels to the left of the linens. 

He started picking, counting from each pile, when he heard a moan. Taking it for the wind outside he didn’t think anything of it.

The tremor inside him, hope and light wary, had him stilling entirely, something brushing against the inside of his foot. 

Silently he pleaded, prayed that it was a harmless rodent. 

Except when he looked down he saw a pale hand, fingers weakly reaching for his ankle.

He couldn’t yelp, his voice frozen in his throat. 

Instead he grabbed the last of the cloths, luckily everything else already in his arms, before bolting. 

He didn’t hear the yelp that sounded below him, more concerned in getting the door open without dropping anything. 

He was ice cold before the snowflakes hit his skin, dashing for the clinic. 

It had been dark when they first entered the clinic and even in the short time since, after talking to Ileska and venturing to the shed, the moon was already peeking over the rooftops. He dropped the towels off when one of the other healers pointed to the counter space beside the scrub station basins. He had enough of a concept to leave the hand towels there, placing the cloths and larger towel on a separate counter to the left of the station, closer to the surgery room. 

Had he seen Nanse he would’ve asked why there was a man in the shed. 

Arriving back to Ileska’s building he had the other assistant reach out to his hand, gesturing to the key that he held, digging the grooves into his palm.

He passed it off, looking for Pars. First he found Ileska, who already had a few more chores to do before they retired for the night.

Two different assistants arrived an hour later, the night shift relieving Ileska and her co-worker so they could go home.

“I’ve been told lodgings have been provided for the New Republic representatives. I can show you the way. There are rooms above the one tavern in our village, for the few travellers that do stay with us. You might be living in tight quarters but it’s better than nothing,” she explained, once she was bundled up in a thick cloak. 

Better than a shed, Ben’s mind provided for him. He would’ve asked questions on that subject but Pars was already chatting with Ileska, walking alongside while Ben trailed behind. 

Pars offered to walk her the rest of the way to where she lived but upon insisting she would be fine, they entered the tavern, finding it wonderfully warm after their robes got soaked with the heavier fall of snow. 

The whole team was seated for food, two tables pushed together to make a big enough eating space so they wouldn’t be in separate groups. The flight to Onabast proved they all got along well so to share a meal and conversation made sense. 

Ben didn’t have much of an appetite but to further shake off his cold he ate all of the stew in his bowl. By morning he would be grateful that he did but looking at the other dishes around him only made his food sink heavy in his belly.

Pars was using the refresher, as basic as all of the other amenities he had seen so far today, Luke already dressed down to sleep. The beds were small but they looked comfortable, much more than the bed rolls Ben had seen in the building he had now named the recovery ward.

“Uncle Luke.” He was dressed down too, but whereas his uncle was already tucked into his bed, Ben sat, waited for his turn in the refresher, hoping that there wasn’t a line up outside it. Besides, in their room, he had the privacy to ask. “What did you find out about the attack? On this village.”

“There wasn’t a lot to be known. It happened late… three nights ago,” Luke explained, pushing himself up to sit under his blankets. “The attack did come from the south, but they didn’t see what the ship looked like that set down. It was after moonrise, but they also didn’t hear or see it. Footmen, an infantry of some kind, came out with blasters. Some grenades from what I understood. Anyone who happened to be in the fields at the time, finishing up for the day, were the first hit. They ran to the village – well, those who were able to. The farmers, and the village’s own defence line, took up arms. They fought back with whatever firearms they had. Some damage was had to outlying buildings of the village but they should be patched up readily enough. The New Republic has offered to fund and provide materials to fix the damage, and it appears that our medical officers will help to assist with additional surgeries – and provide extra supplies for tending to the wounded moving forward.”

Ben kept his hands in the blanket, kneading and folding them. “Do they – or do we, have any indication of who it was that attacked? Did they capture anyone for questioning?”

Luke sighed, shaking his head. “We’re hoping that the other village might have information on that matter. We’ll be making contact with them in the morning.”

Pars entered the room, no longer smelling like the sterilization formulas used in the clinic and recovery ward. Fresh-faced with a towel draped around his shoulders. “I will never take for granted a shower again. I would never want be at the mercy of a sponge-bath.” 

Ben gave him a weird look. “Did they actually make you do that? Give one of the patients a sponge-bath?”

“Nope, not that they would. I wouldn’t trust myself to not move someone the right way either to do it properly.” Taking the bed that he claimed for himself earlier, flopping onto it with a pleased sigh, tapering into a yawn, Pars stretched out. “But being to help them any other way, I’m good with.”

“Just don’t get your hopes up about Ileska giving you a sponge bath.” He had already hopped off the bed, not needing to dash for the door, fearing Pars would take a swipe at him in retaliation. All he got was an affronted shout before he was in the corridor. 

Washed and brushed, settling under the warm blankets, Ben let the long day claim him, falling asleep with only the thoughts of how he would learn more about healing and treatment with this mission.

*

Morning came with a chill that Ben didn’t expect. He fell asleep under the blankets cozy but now his toes, having stretched his legs out at some point, were no longer covered. Without socks or blankets they felt too cold to walk on. 

Even bringing his relatively warm hand up to his face, he was surprised how cold his cheeks were. 

A glance to the window explained all that, the pane completely covered with snow. He only guessed that it was morning, since there was no sunlight coming inside. 

His moan of dismay had to have been loud enough for his uncle, stirring awake slowly. Luke, having the bed closest to the window, shivered, before looking to Ben. Seeing his gaze locked on the window, he looked up too. “I hope this hasn’t shut down the communication systems.”

It did delay them getting out of the tavern, as the keeper had to jimmy open both the front doors and the back. Even with the front door sheltered by a porch that ran the full length of the front of the building, the wind had blown the snow up against the building, thick drifts that reached past the handle on the door. It took a group effort of everyone inside, sweeping the still blowing snowfall out and away from the door, eventually a big enough dent for Ben to get out first. 

Wearing a jacket that was about two sizes too small, but at least keeping most of his arms and torso warm, he found the shovel that the tavern owner had brought out last night. It was under another similarly tall snow drift but he hurried to shovel the snow away from the door, eventually making enough space to let the door open fully. 

Going their separate ways, Luke and Perella with their officers, the medical officers followed them to the clinic. Ben and Pars lingered longer than necessary, listening to the officers talking with Nanse, discussing what role they could play in the clinic and what they could provide to assist in the upcoming days, with equipment or other requests.

It was a silent look, given to them by one of the other healers, but Ben and Pars nodded before making their way back outside. Working the day before hadn’t been bad but it had only been for four hours. Now they were coming in with the expectation of working eight hours, if not more. 

The look Ileska gave them was almost sympathetic, giving them separate lists of jobs they needed to do, with the spoken statement that there would be more added as they day went on. Granted that Ben would prefer to be busy over being bored but looking at his own significant number of jobs he knew that it would be a fairly long day. 

One pleasant task was helping with the cooking for those who would be eating breakfast. He took his instructions for his part by watching what the other assistant was doing, cutting up vegetables and putting them into a pan to stir along with what might’ve been a kind of egg, already cooked and scrambled. 

It wasn’t until everyone who needed to be fed had finished that he was sent out with directions to take dirty sheets and towels to the laundering services that they used, then to pick up new sheets and towels from the shed.

Stepping out into the cold, hair already soaking through with the snow that just didn’t stop, his stomach turned to ice, heavy and cold. 

He ran to the shop that took the basket of items to be washed, kept running to the shed, the key around his neck freezing where it stuck under his jacket and shirt to his chest. There wasn’t any shovel he could use to dig out the shed to the door but he scrambled with numb fingers, eventually making enough space to squeeze in through the door. 

This time he made sure to not step entirely away from the threshold, keeping his foot between the door and the jamb, eventually finding a couple of heavy rocks that had to be kept for the sole purpose to keep the door from shutting completely. 

This time he saw who it was on the ground, not just a pale hand but a man, curled in on himself, underneath a single thin blanket. Head dirty with what he feared was blood. 

“Are you awake?” Ben whispered, his heart in his throat. No longer needing to keep the door open with his foot he made his way closer on hands and knees, pulling the blanket down, feeling for a pulse. There was one, however weak it was, but what worried him more was that it might not last long, not with how cold the man was. He should’ve been gentle, now that he could see that it was blood, soaking more than half of his head, but Ben shook him by the shoulder. 

The man woke somewhat, heavy eyelids peeling back slowly, gaze unfocussed. “Oooo… whacha…” The words were slurred and Ben didn’t know if it was from injury or hypothermia. 

“Can you get up?” Ben wasn’t sure if the man slumped or shook his head but either way it didn’t look promising. “Can you hear me?” This time he was fairly sure the man moaned out a yes. “Alright, I need to do something for you – don’t know if I should be warming you up first.” Pulling the man into a seated position, which was awkward enough with how little control the man had over his own body, Ben recoiled when his arm slipped around his waist, not expecting to find his bare waist. “What you--” Unable to keep his own moan silent, Ben peeled the blanket back enough to realise the man only wore underpants and a sleeveless undershirt. “Where are the rest of your clothes?”

The man tried to grab for the blanket; Ben instinctively moved against him, side to side. “I…” the man started to say before shaking his head, slumping onto Ben’s shoulder.

“Yeah, questions later,” Ben agreed, curling the blanket around him as best as he could, eventually using the Force to finish what his own hands couldn’t do, more concerned about rubbing one hand on the man’s back, tucking the mans feet under the blanket so his toes wouldn’t turn black. 

He wasn’t sure how long they would have until Ileska or anyone else noticed his absence. His mind was racing, trying to come up with options. He never did have the chance to ask Ileska yesterday about the man in the shed and when he first arrived at the clinic less than two hours ago he had, embarrassedly, forgotten about him. Now, barely feeling a rise in his body temperature, Ben was biting his lip, worrying not just flesh but his thoughts and plans, shaking them off for something better. And worse.

Ileska had to have known about the man in the shed. Yesterday she had the key around her neck before handing it off to her. She was responsible for imprisoning this man, who might die of hypothermia if he didn’t think of something soon. 

Ben couldn’t wait, or risk the chance of running to find Luke or Perella. He couldn’t leave this man alone. 

He dropped the blanket briefly, letting go of the man. He didn’t straighten up, but he heard a plaintive sound when Ben moved away from him, pulling off his borrowed jacket hastily. “Trust me, you’ll do better with the jacket then I will.” 

It took longer than he wanted to get the man up, leaning against the shelves, pulling him around in ways that might’ve been painful to get his arms into the jacket sleeves, zipping it up. It only looked like it was one size too small on the other man, which was still a step up from underpants and undershirt. He picked the blanket up, gesturing for the man to hold it tight around his waist if he wouldn’t tie it into an imitation of a skirt. “This will have to do until we get back to the hotel… I just hope you won’t lose your feet in the process.”

Ben still had to support him as they walked through the blizzard, snow drifts threatening to trip them both. Ben was cold but at least had more motor functions, letting the other man lean into him while trudging through the unpaved roads. They were the only ones out, everyone else either safely at home or having arrived to where they worked, if their work was deemed essential. 

He offered up words of thanks to the Force, and all other spirits, when the tavern owner didn’t greet them. He wasn’t behind the bar, he didn’t look like he was around at all. Not wanting to test his luck Ben hurried them both to the stairs that led up to the lodgings. 

He didn’t have experience with treating hypothermia but he took his uncle’s advice, over the tales that his dad spoke of at any opportunity he had. So far he had yet to see any tauntans; more readily available was the refresher’s tub-shower combination. 

Under the harsh overhead lights, much brighter than what the snowstorm allowed outside, he took in the blood that freckled the mans legs and arms. An ankle that was blackened not from hypothermia but broken bones. He didn’t know how bad any of the injuries were, beyond the head injury, ankle and feet that were still a dark shade of blue despite making it inside. “Do you have any other injuries I should know of?” Ben asked, speaking loud enough to be heard over the water running from the faucet. 

“I don’t know?” He sounded a bit more coherent, wrapped again in the blanket, covering him from shoulders down to just under his bum, protecting him from the cold of the tiles. 

“We can check on that when you get washed. But first, I’ll try to warm you up.” Dipping his hand into the water he flinched at the cold, but he did need to work the temperature up slowly. “Alright, there’s enough water in here to start with, can you stand up on your own?”

Apparently he wasn’t. Scrambling up from his knees, catching him just before he went from seated leaning against the tub to falling back first into the tub, Ben steadied him, waited until he was seated until he let go. “Is the temperature alright? Not too hot? I have to work the temperature up slowly.” 

“It’s fine, better than earlier.” 

Ben folded up the blanket, trying to make it thicker but less likely to drag in the water, before slinging it as well as he could around the man’s shoulders. The man curled his fingers into the blanket immediately, pulling it tight like a shawl. Ben watched him for a few seconds before reaching for the tap, inching the temperature up. “What’s your name?”

“Armitage.” Armitage shifted in the tub, easing back until he could rest his head against the wall. 

“What were you doing in the shed?” Ben asked. Armitage shook his head, exhaling shakily, eyes closing. He understood if he was tired but he didn’t want the risk of additional problems, falling asleep in the tub. He needed to keep asking questions. “Alright, what were you doing on Onabast?”

“Travelling through,” he replied quickly enough, eyes closed but otherwise cooperating. “I had been travelling with a small party but… we came under attack, by those people. I alone survived. They didn’t see me run away so I thought I could find safety, or warn anyone else about those people. I just didn’t realise that they were going to attack the village next.” 

“At what point did you lose your clothes?” It was a blunt question but it had puzzled Ben when he got his first proper look at Armitage that morning. A glance down to his underclothing showed that the water level was rising enough to make the white fabric transparent. Diverted his gaze up as soon as he noticed, biting his lip. 

Armitage hadn’t caught him, his eyes still closed, but this time his words were slurring. Ben turned up the water heat more before moving a bit closer to hear better. “I don’t remember. Maybe the villagers took them off me when before they threw me into the shed.” 

A careful look down, avoiding underpants and inspecting his legs, showed that the blood along his thighs and calves was soaking off, turning the water red. “Do you remember who threw you in there? Anything about what they looked like?

“It was dark, I didn’t get a good look.” Tilting towards the corner, Armitage winced when his head rolled against the wall. Some of the dried blood flaked off, clinging to the dark grey tiles. 

“Do you mind if I clean your head? I want to see how bad your head injury is,” Ben explained, standing up briefly to grab a cloth off the rack of towels. “Hopefully you won’t need stitches.”

“As long as you aren’t going to give me an entire bath,” Armitage mumbled, righting himself as best he could. 

Ben ducked his head, not to look again but to locate the soap, and hide the flush that was warming his cheeks. Pars words from last night rung tauntingly in his mind. “I haven’t… washed anyone before, so you don’t need to worry about that. However, if anything stings when I’m cleaning your head, tell me. I’ll try to be gentle.”

He nudged the water up a little warmer one last time, letting it run for a minute while he carefully scooped water with his hands. Without prompting Armitage tilted his head back. There had been a thick combination of grime and blood in his hair, that it took a few rinses without soap and gentle detangling with his fingers to work the first layer out. Ben couldn’t help but smile faintly, seeing orange hairs along his hairline. Clearly he hadn’t been paying too much attention towards his eyebrows or eyelashes but now that he did, he had to appreciate the unique shade. 

Biting his lip, schooling his smile to a concentrated line, he rinsed water through his hair a few times, loosening the blood and dirt some more before soaping his hands up. Turning off the faucet entirely he started working the lather into Armitage’s hair. Shampoo would’ve been the better choice but when he found the wound he wanted something gentler, more appropriate for skin care. 

To his surprise he only got one wince out of Armitage, some quiet minutes. As soon as he did, he withdrew his hands like he’d been slapped. “I’m sorry, do you want me to stop?”

“It hurt, but… that’s because of the cut, not you.” Armitage frowned, glancing up to him. “Your hands are…” He huffed under his breath, cheek twitching like there had been something else he was going to say. “It’s been relaxing but it can’t be helped. My head…”

Ben wanted to keep washing his hair but it was clean now, blood and dirty staining the bath water. Armitage hadn’t complained about that part but Ben knew if he was in the bath he’d be wanting out soon. Instead he carefully started parting through his hair, searching slowly. “I think I had been about…” 

When he found the wound in question he hissed under his breath. What had been cleaned was accumulating more blood. Whether it had been his touch that pressed too hard, or the clotting effect of dried blood had only stopped the bleeding temporarily, it had been enough to start the blood flow again, thick and dripping through Armitage’s hair faster than he liked. 

Having used his hands he picked up the unused cloth. It would’ve been better if it was wet, but he pressed the cloth firmly to Armitage’s head. Armitage flinched again but knew what Ben was trying to do. 

Their fingers were tangled, trying to staunch the flow, when hurried heavy knocks pounded on the door. “Ben, is that you? You need to open up!”

It wasn’t his uncle, or Perella, who he felt he had a better chance of explaining what was happening than anyone else. To his dismay, Armitage was slumping to the left again, away from him, towards the tiles. Ben tried to steady him, ignoring the soap splashing into the water, his elbow nearly following. “I’m busy in here, give me a minute!”

He didn’t get a minute, the lock on the refresher releasing. 

The tavern owner must’ve returned. The only thing he could be thankful for was that there was nothing incriminating to be found in the hallway. Although he had left the borrowed jacket by the bar, no one would’ve known someone else was with him.

Until the door opened, and Ben spun to face them, trying to block Armitage from view by the two medical officers and the owner. 

Armitage slumped entirely, and with his precarious perch on the edge of the bathtub, Ben slid in, landing on Armitage’s lap.

*

Ben should’ve been grateful that he only got a short scolding from the officers, both having been distracted by the injured man in the tub. With their kits available, and far more knowledge of how to treat patients, they had been able to get Armitage out of the tub.

Ben had been told to leave the washroom while they did their work and go with the tavern owner to find clean clothes for Armitage. 

When Ben was allowed to see Armitage again, it was down in the tavern. Ben sat at the booth behind where Armitage was seated with his uncle. Two of the soldiers were at position on either side of the booth, the other two having left. 

Ben was frowning down to Armitage’s head, where his hair had been shorn off. In the end the officers needed to give him stitches, and with missing hair and scar it left his hair patchwork. 

Something about it made his fingers ache.

At first his uncle and Perella sat with him upstairs while the soldiers and medical officers kept Armitage company. They had asked for the story that Armitage told him, and as to how he had found Armitage.

Now in the restaurant, Armitage eating a soup that was more broth than meat or vegetables, silence hung over the group. The flanked positions of the soldiers only made Ben more nervous. 

Ben tried to catch his uncle’s attention more than once but he only glanced to him briefly. He could sense that he wasn’t in trouble but there was something making his uncle uneasy. 

When the door to the tavern opened, Ben found the two other soldiers and Perella escorting Nanse and Ileska in, along with the other assistant and healers. 

“Thank you for your cooperation, I know you have a lot of work to do at the clinic. Our officers will fill in for your absence while you’re answering questions. We don’t have a lot of questions, we just need clarification on the situation,” Perella explained, settling in beside his uncle while motioning to the opposite side of the booth from them. 

Armitage continued to eat, only looking up briefly to Nanse and one of the healers when they seated themselves.

It was the other three who hesitated.

Ileska was the only one who met Ben’s pressing gaze. 

“It appears that you’ve had a guest taking up residence in your clinic’s shed,” Perella started when no one else chose to speak up. “Which I find remarkable no one had mentioned, to us, or your graciously bestowed volunteers. He gave Ben quite the scare when he found him last night. I would imagine you were aware he was in there, seeing as someone would need to acquire supplies throughout the day.”

Nanse looked like they were about to scoff, a wrinkle deepening between their eyebrows. “This is the first I have heard of this.” 

“Someone knew,” Perella continued, laying her arms on the table, hands interlaced flat. “A blanket had been provided for him, though it did little to keep from developing hypothermia since the blizzard hit. Would that person like to identify themselves?”

There was several seconds of silence, Perella remaining patient even though she tightened her fingers. 

“One of the other assistants told me-”

“Ileska!”

“-from the night shift,” Ileska insisted, looking to the two healers seated on the table. “You would have to get names from them, but several villagers dragged him to the shed, demanding the girls lock him up in the shed until he was ready to talk. They said he claimed he was a traveller but his timing was… suspect.” 

“And they agreed to their demands?” Nanse asked, expression disturbed. 

The healer who remained standing, to the right closest to the side where the other healers sat, spoke up. He didn’t attempt to be quiet but it was unnecessary, the conversation understood only by the medical staff, with Nanse frowning and Ileska scowling.

“He wasn’t critical yet!” Ileska insisted, barking at the healer who stood. Spat words at him before spinning to face Perella and Luke. “He was on night shift when the attack happened. He approved of this tactic, having already had _our_ wounded brought in. Undressed. A traveller. We don’t have proper space-pads out here but we get the communications, we know of who lands. And even as a traveller we are obligated-“

Nanse held up both hands in a gesture to stop, the two other healers bellowing. 

“Are you one of _them_?”

Nanse asked the question without raising their voice but the look they gave Armitage showed there was no timidity. 

They looked outright furious.

He had stopped eating when the questioning commenced, only dropping his spoon now. And his answer didn’t provide the information everyone wanted, evading any needed facts. “You weren’t out there.”

“There were no scheduled arrivals,” Luke pointed out calmly, to which Perella and Nanse nodded. “We’ve had this information confirmed by several sources, so the only one who appears to be giving false information is you.”

Armitage spared a glance to Ben, though Ben had dropped to the seat in the other booth, cushioning his face in his hands, elbows to the table.

Armitage’s voice sounded tight when he next spoke. “You wouldn’t understand.”

“We would like to understand,” Luke offered. “We are here to talk, and listen. No one here is going to harm you. Three people stand here having taken an oath. Two people are here for maintaining order.”

Ben heard the strained laugh, but knew not why.

And the low mumble of “Order…’ 

Ben didn’t see anything funny about it, wiping tears from his eyes.

“We were sent out… two troops, one to each village. I can’t vouch what happened to the others, but… when the ramp opened, we knew our mission. To take the villages, taking a prisoner or two to lead the way into the mountains. All we had were one grenade each and our blasters.”

“By who?” Perella asked.

Armitage didn’t answer right away, still giving an account of the night. “Those of us who were in the back, we heard the shuttle lift off as soon as the last of us were several feet away from the ramp. I… know it sounds crazy, but I figured it was my only chance for anonymity. I tore off my uniform; boots, tunic, everything but my underclothing. If I wasn’t killed right away… I didn’t want my uniform to give me away. I figured I could get off by claiming to be a traveller but clearly that didn’t work.”

The two healers to either side of Nanse started yelling; the one who stood tried to move closer but with the table in the way he could only jerk his finger in Armitage’s direction. The other seated beside Armitage didn’t hesitate to get in his face, talking fast and loud, grabbing him by the wide collar of a borrowed shirt. 

In the increased volume of anger, and the overall commotion, Ben choked back his sob.

He was a fool to believe he was doing good for someone who deserved it. 

Gaze blurred, he padded softly away from the booth, creeping to the stairs, then racing up unnoticed.

“Milya!” Nanse pulled their co-worker back, before rattling off something to him in their shared language. Turning to face Perella and Luke they gave them a reassuring look. “We will see to have him brought to justice. Milya will keep his hands to himself and we will take this… soldier to the local authorities. We will handle this from here.”

“No!” Though Armitage sat mostly in the middle of the booth, he scooted as far away as he could from Milya, bumping into Luke. He didn’t latch onto Luke, but his sudden frantic reaction suggested that the emotion was real. “I can’t go with them. Take me to the New Republic, put me on trial for war crimes, throw me in jail. But if I’m left here I will be dead.”

Perella shook her head, feigning apology. “There isn’t anything we can do in this situation. If Onabast was a territory under the New Republic we could intervene but since it does stand as a neutral planet they are responsible for their own military and judicial action. You will be brought forward into their courts for trial, and punishment.”

“But they picked off the survivors! Killed anyone who they hadn’t already killed!” Armitage’s breath hitched but he didn’t look away from her, pleading his case. The hushed conversation on the other side of the table stopped entirely. “I know what I saw, I played dead from where I was. My own people, crying and moaning, asking for help. Their villagers killed them one by one. They could’ve easily taken us as prisoners of war – put us all on trial, but they didn’t! I know what I did was wrong, we were all in the wrong – but we were set up. They left us here, knowing we would be killed!” 

Any solemnness that Perella demonstrated sharpened. She looked sideways to regard the healers, sitting and standing tense. Their behaviour suggested that they were accurately called out but before she could ask for verification, Luke spoke first.

“Military trial would be one thing,” Luke conceded, keeping his voice pleasant, even though his gaze was piercing. “But taking action without the courts is normally frowned upon. Do you have anything to say to refute this?”

A huff sounded from beside the table, catching Nanse’s attention first, considering the cutting look they gave Ileska. Nanse smoothed their expression out, returning to an attempt at civility. “It is of a delicate nature, being a neutral planet. We are welcoming to anyone who travels here, for commerce, attempts at political persuasion, or wanting to be a neutral party in a galaxy at war.” They spared a condemning look to Armitage but he didn’t flinch. “Our only desire is to enjoy, and maintain, our peaceful way of life. We are proud to be neutral, but will prove that we are no pushover. We will attack to defend our livelihood. We will do what’s necessary when anyone attempts to strike our planet down.”

“I am not going to die on your planet,” Armitage gritted out, clenching the edge of the table. “I had no choice in my coming here. I was sent here with two troops. We had a mission, but obviously it was a farce. Not one of us knew we were marching to our deaths, except for the cowards who sent us here, who never left the starships – and left as soon as the last of us set foot on the ground! My only choice was to try and hide. I never even fired my gun. I went down, like a coward, yes. But by my word I never attacked anyone, my own people or any of the villagers, that night.”

Luke straightened up, sparing a brief look to Armitage before looking back to Nanse. “I have a feeling in the military trials held on Onabast, the defendant is not allowed to testify. And that an innocent verdict is never reached.”

“You wouldn’t know,” Nanse remarked, folding their arms upon the table. Arched an eyebrow to him. “New Republic representatives are not permitted to sit in at any of Onabast’s trials.”

“What about a Jedi?” The corner of Luke’s mouth twitched up. “We aren’t necessarily neutral, we come in peace to help any planets in need. To help defend, to act in any manner. Unfortunately, that means we do look into everyone’s plight, even when someone is unjustly targeted. And, when said individual never fired his weapon, it does seem he’s been unlawfully imprisoned. We should talk to those villagers who dragged him in. My nephew didn’t find any weapons on him when he brought him to the hotel. We just need to verify if the blaster was used, which is easily confirmed. Although, if the blaster was never used – it will be just as incriminating. And the New Republic would get involved and bring those people, and Onabast, to trial.”

No words were shared. Nanse glanced up to the healer who stood, now squaring off his jaw. A muscle worked in his cheek, barely supressing a snarl, but when he did meet Nanse’s eyes, he tightened his lips and looked down quickly.

“I think we can agree that he can go back to the New Republic – so long as he stands trial there.” Nanse pursed their lips, tightened the grip on their arm. “Of course, Onabast would request that a representative of the people be present for the trial, to verify that everything has been held to our esteem and stand-“

“I can do that,” Ileska cut in, moving forwards to the table, almost brushing the edge.

“You are willing to come with us?” Perella asked, regarding the young woman.

The smile she gave was almost beatific. “It would be my honour.”

Perella cleared her throat. Pursed lips that curled up a fraction before looking quickly to Armitage. “We will be leaving within the hour, but Armitage, do you wish to say anything else?”

“If I could’ve done anything differently, saved lives – turn those ships around, I would’ve. But now, in the position that I’m in, the only right thing to say is ‘Dead men can’t tell secrets.’ I know now what I need to do. I’ve heard of other failed missions. Only a handful of men ever returned. I never thought anything of it, but my father – he always spoke of weakness. That the Order couldn’t consist of anything but the strong and faithful. It stands to reason, if you send troops out to a planet that is known for killing all military people, you will die. That was our mission. To die. To not let the weak fill the ranks of the Order.”

Perella hesitated, perhaps thinking into his words too much.

Luke didn’t, latching on the one word that Armitage repeated, more than twice. 

It couldn’t be a fluke.

“Armitage, who was it that sent in the troops?”

“The First Order.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Three Years Later

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> After researching timelines and locations it became evident that three years after the first chapter's events, that the New Republic had yet to locate to Hosnian Prime. 
> 
> But because of the rotating location-seat of the New Republic and its Senate, it seemed unlikely it would stayed in one place for twenty plus years. So I did what I could to describe an unnamed planet.
> 
> Creative liberty: fun but also a challenge.

3 Years Later

When Ben was offered the opportunity to take a vacation, he jumped at the opportunity. Life at the Jedi Temple was good, he was one of the best students through nothing short of hard work. It hadn’t all come naturally but dedicating himself to his lessons, practising outside of those sessions, he got better over time.

In the last three years, he pushed himself deeper into his studies, physically and mentally. 

He did miss seeing his parents though. He saw his dad on the occasion that Han and Chewie decided to stop by when they were travelling through the area. His mom he saw less often. She was so busy that normally the only way they kept in touch was through comm. 

When she offered him the chance to visit her, he didn’t refuse. 

He just didn’t anticipate his vacation happening while his mom was taking vacation leave, without leaving the reigning city-slash-seat of the New Republic.

He tried to not be too disappointed. It wasn’t like he was vacationing on Dagobah. Yet his mom had insisted to show him around, which did include a one-day visit to the Senate for a meeting that she couldn’t cancel or reschedule.

At least the city had a lot to offer, of which he and his mom took advantage. They took a 10-hour boat cruise around the local shoreline and into the archipelago that lay further east. One day they went further inland to a popular pick your fruit farm; they feasted on fruits so fresh that he was still dripping them the next day. Every day he watched the sun rise over the islands, walked the shoreline at dusk. 

It couldn’t all be good. 

It happened when he spotted someone familiar. He was passing by the western hangar for the Republic base, taking a longer walk while his mom was in an unplanned conference call with a senator currently off-planet. At first he wasn’t sure if it was Poe who was dressed in a flight suit. The hair looked about right, if longer than he last remembered. 

It was who Poe was talking to, a tall slim figure. He had only seen that shade of orange hair before and it had his whole body locking up, rigid to the point of pain.

“Poe?” When he finally found his voice it came out tense, barely audible. He had to squeeze air back into his lungs before he called out properly. “Poe?” When the man in the flight suit looked up, he realised, with a small amount of delight, that he did know him. It quickly shifted to fury. “Get away from him!”

“Ben! I heard you were on vacation here.” Poe hurried over, taking Ben by the shoulders, laughing as he had to reach up to hug him properly. “Haven’t seen you in ages, how are you doing?”

He would have told him that he was enjoying himself, but seeing the other man approach him had him tensing all over again, looking over Poe’s shoulder. “Get out of here traitor,” he snarled. 

Armitage stopped short, several steps behind Poe. “Ben? Ben Solo?”

“Don’t talk to me. Go back to your hive!” Ben spat, trying to charge forward, but Poe had changed his hold to keep him in place. “You’re not supposed to be here! Are you spying on the Republic now? Get out of here!”

“Ben, calm down. He works here, you can trust him,” Poe reassured him.

Ben gaped, nearly laughing, shocked and disgusted. “Trust him? He – he can’t be trusted! What is he doing here?” He shook his head, the next laugh closer to a choked back sob. “Get rid of him!”

“Poe, I’m heading back – this isn’t my place,” Armitage said, agreeably but giving an apologetic look, to Ben then Poe. 

“Wait, stay here – Ben.” Glancing back to Ben after a quick look to Armitage, Poe softened his grip. Rubbed his shoulder. “He is needed here. Armitage does important work – he’s in research and development. Offers up Intel from his days with the First Order, not that’s it’s guaranteed to still be relevant years later but… he’s done good thing here. Valuable for the Republic.”

“You know.” Ben swallowed, biting his lip. “Does everyone know? That’s he’s First Order?”

“Was First Order,” Poe corrected, nodding. “He came here as a prisoner, from what I heard. Had a full hearing, was under home arrest with… what was her name?”

“Ileska,” Armitage answered, smiling faintly, though why Ben looked up to see it, he regretted it as quickly as it happened. “After my probation I got my own place. She didn’t need me around, putting a damper on her career.”

“The only smart person around here,” Ben muttered to himself.

“He’s with us.” Poe smiled, aiming to be convincing, but realising he was falling short, decided to let it go. “Right. He has been doing a lot of good stuff with the Republic but – you know him, don’t trust him. Don’t blame you, he can get pretty testy.”

“Right behind you Dameron,” Armitage reminded, dry deadpan humour making Poe grin. 

“Do you have time to hang out with me for a bit? I want to find out what’s happening at home, what you’ve been up to,” Poe mentioned, steering Ben around so he wouldn’t have to keep glancing at Armitage. 

Unseen, but still vocal, Armitage persisted. “Could I actually have a moment?”

“Yeah?” Poe looked over his shoulder, eyebrow raised. “You still want to do drinks after you finish?”

Armitage looked a little flushed, sheepish, but managed a curt nod. “Yes, but I wanted to talk to Ben. Quickly.”

Ben glared, eyes narrowed and jaw squared. 

Armitage almost looked away but didn’t, sucking in a breath. “I’ll be no more than… two minutes. Please? I just want – I lost my chance, need to talk to you alone. Then I’ll be on my way.” 

Ben didn’t get the chance to refuse, Poe giving his shoulder a squeeze before drifting away, past Armitage, but not without squeezing his arm too. 

Armitage walked up to him, more quickly than a man approaching the gallows would normally. Perhaps he would be quick. If it was over within seconds, the better for Ben.

“I never got to talk to you on the ship from Onabast. They wouldn’t let me out of their sight, understandably – but you hid yourself away,” Armitage started, speaking lowly, even though Poe had gone far enough away to not hear them. Ducking his head, Armitage winced. “Understandably too.”

“You think I wanted to be in the same room as you? After what you did?” Ben shook with silent rage. The ways of the Jedi were useless in this time and place though later he would meditate, comm Luke, asking for forgiveness and seeking advice. “You are a liar. A traitor. You dishonour the Republic. You are tainting everything it stands for, you… bastard son of the Empire. First Order. Rejects that fell with the Emperor.”

“Don’t.” Ben should’ve delighted in the fist that Armitage shook, trembling beside his hip. Armitage never lifted his hand though, not striking him. Armitage tried again, voice strangled. “You can call me whatever you want but don’t you dare say-”

“What? The truth? You are First Order.” Ben smirked, gloated at the way Armitage ducked to try and hide his face behind longer, loose golden-orange hair. “Leave. Never come back. Go back to your second-rate Empire.”

“I am not.” Armitage looked up, vicious but also dejected. “I am not First Order. Maybe. If they hadn’t tried to kill me on Onabast, things could’ve been different. But I realised the truth there. I was never wanted by them. They sent dozens of men and women to be slaughtered. They do this without remorse. Now, I try to prevent that. I am on the other side, and I will do what I can to counter their warmongering efforts.”

“Do I look like someone who cares?” Ben shook his head, hating that he once felt sorry for this wounded soldier. Who turned out to be a liar. Omitting to speak the truth, evading questions, was no better. “You deceived me. You disgust me. You are a traitor for everything that I am. For who I was raised by. You only lived because you told more lies to my uncle and a sympathetic New Republican.”

“You left. You didn’t hear me tell them the truth,” Armitage repeated, like a broken comm that Ben wanted to throw into the sea. “I am not the First Order. I don’t want to be.”

“I don’t care.”

“I owe you my life.” 

“A life wasted on the worthless.”

Something flashed in Armitage’s eyes, a current turbulent that spoke of depths of fury.

But in an instant it was gone, stoppered, with a hitch, a thick swallow and a slow dip of his chin. “Enjoy your vacation. You know… where to not go, to avoid me.”

Poe jogged up to Ben, more alarmed than Ben expected him to be. Ben anticipated an apology but first came a bewildered question. “What did you say to him? I haven’t seen him this shaken up… ever.”

“Spies.” Ben wove his hand, and with a deft finger and blink he dried the tear that was stuck at the corner of his eye. “They don’t like getting called out. He spooked.”

“If I had known you two didn’t get along at all, I would’ve sent him off sooner,” Poe added, chagrined, thumbs tucked into his belt as they began walking. 

“He should’ve never been here in the first place,” Ben reminded. 

Poe cocked his head, kept quiet as they maintained the pace, up to the crest of the low hill Ben had first been on when he spotted Poe. “You don’t think a person can ever redeem themselves?”

“Has he ever told you what happened?” Ben asked, doubt colouring his tone.

“I’m pretty sure it hasn’t been everything but…” Poe shrugged without releasing his belt. “I would think he told me most of it.”

“I don’t trust him – and you shouldn’t either.”

“Because you did believe him.” Poe glanced over to him. Ben could see his want to reassure him, with a friendly touch, but Poe restrained himself, at least physically. “I won’t make you do anything you don’t want to do, but – any hearing brought before the Senate, all of them, are kept on record. If you wanted to, you could find his hearing. It includes everything that was said and done in his hearing.”

“I am not interested.” He started walking faster, knowing that it would put Poe behind him within seconds. “And if you are going to continue talking about him, you can have your drinks with him now.”

“I’m done, I promise,” Poe stated, after striding up, as quickly and casually as he could. “Do tell me about your training, about Luke. I want to catch up with you, and I don’t mean by running after you.”

It was better than talking about Armitage. And soon they were laughing while recounting each other with their tales from the base and the temple. 

Yet Armitage had come back to mind. Exactly where he didn’t want him to be. 

He had almost sounded sincere. 

The betrayal was still there.

But his gaze had lingered.

Blue eyes and golden-orange hair.

It was the worst kind of hurt.


End file.
